I should just start writing in my blog starting this year.
Last year was really weird but fun in a whole lot of ways.I have lots of toys and no friends except for my wife(still).Maybe I'm just a horses ass or something.............or do I actually even care?Idunno.
Anyway.It seemed the outgoing part of me started to drift away along with my devoted Christianity.
I mean that I still talk to God.....I just don't really want to have anything to do with His people.
It all started when church leaders and members (not all of them) started to really treat me like total shit.
Every worship band I have been in was always ate up with pride and immaturity.....mostly the "been there done that" attitude when I just happened to know they have little or no experience in dealing with any music in a professional manner.You can always see right through it too.Things like setting the stage sound only AFTER they set up the main sound, not using a tuner to tune, not knowing what chord they are playing,letting kids run and jump around on the stage (even had a kid jump up and down on my bass drum like a trampoline when it was laying sideways), Piano "The Ultimate Holier Than Thou" lady's husband turning my electronic drum speakers facing the back wall and having Her complain the the tempo was behind (no shit....your hearing the bounce not the drums actual tempo when you face the speakers that way).It wasn't so much She said something about it as HOW she actually said it."IS THERE A PROBLEM?!" and the mad look She gave me and the constant lofty looks and smart ass comments till I finally just got my stuff and left.She had it in for me (and showed it daily) ever since I was wondering what the heck Her kid was doing on my drums without asking permission from me to do so.
OMG that was just a drop in the bucket of a number of things that have happened.
I was snubbed by the Cruise Family since my former pastor told them that I thought Rock and Roll was evil (I do not.....I just said that playing The Hotel California like Her brother was wanting to do was not a good idea) and She also said that my wife was trying to take over Her church and that She (the pastor) dreamed of a monster in a tree and said it represented my wife trying to take over the church (WTF?!).Her brother and son was in the band and they would show up half snookered when trying to practice (they didn't know scales or anything and sang like two cats tied by the tail draped over a clothes line).I'm not against drinking but I am against staying drunk.
Anyway....between the endless empty promises and lies I just decided well.......this just keeps getting better and more complicated.I forgive them and all......its just that I got really tired of all the complications that went along with being a church member.
Even had someone hang up on us when we were calling about a Bible study.The lady that was running it may have thought that it was one of those sales people calling.Anyway, we called back again and got the answering machine.....my Wife sez "It is XXXXX from church....I was calling about the Bible study?"I dunno.....just couldn't help but get on the friggin pity parade after that one.
The last church I was trying out was great except for a few things.I would would ask the Pastor His view on salvation (I mean the most important question for anyone in ALL TIME) and He wouldn't answer me.So I decided to write Him..........still the same like it was when I talked to Him over dinner.........no answer.Why do things have to be so under the hat?I asked Him about the drummer position He had that the bass player inadvertently promised me............it looked like I was sitting across from a clam.I mean if His lips would have gotten any tighter his teeth would have broken and His chin would have disappeared.I mean tell me "no!" or tell me to jump out in the middle of the highway or something.......but not that!I even got this complex and really wanted to just hide after all this.
Well I manage to hide well.I mean.......my God..........the peace I have staying away from the church.I guess I just managed to feed my introversion and tucked myself into a comfort zone.
After all, it wasn't what happened to me that matters it is how I deal with it.I will be the first to admit that I have dealt with it poorly and that I am just sitting next to this cold pool waiting to get my feet wet again.Maybe I should do like I use to and jump in without thinking about it and damned the torpedoes.I mean, to hell with my own immaturity and just press on!Good God.......... the things only children have to grow out of is just so very stupid.
Anyway....enough stupidity for now.
FullMetalMouse signing out.
Chatboard (2)